Never Back Down – Always Play to Win

Since the articles I write on here tend to generate quite a bit of hate and self-righteous indignation from the angry folks who stumble across them, I wasn’t surprised when my article about staying in Korea got some angry responses.  What really surprised me was the source of the hate – it came almost exclusively from my family.

A few hours after posting it, I got a message from my father saying that I should think about taking down the article because it might ‘hurt some feelings’ among people back home.  I laughed at him and explained that doing so would actually be antithetical to the whole premise of the article.  Going your own way and living life on your own terms was the whole point, and capitulating to such silliness would be the most hypocritical act possible.

He then proceeded to share the article with other family members who would not have read it otherwise and encouraged them to feel butthurt about my thoughts and try to shame me.

I got messages and phone calls giving me an earful about how unpatriotic I am and how shameful it is for me to not be proud of my country and want to live there.  Sad story indeed.  Great big crocodile tears.

Now, if this same thing had happened to me 10 years ago before coming to Korea, I almost certainly would have taken the post down.  More realistically, I wouldn’t have even written it in the first place because I was still drinking the same Kool Aid as them.  America is the greatest country in the world, it’s the land of opportunity, 2.5 children and a white picket fence, all that bullshit.

Unfortunately for them, this is not the Jack of 10 years ago.  I have chosen a different path in life and I’m happier for it.  I truly don’t know why it upsets them so much, but at a certain point, it no longer matters.

So what did I do?  Did I back down and remove my article?  Maybe change it a little bit to save the feel-feels of people back home who I see once every two or three years?  Hell no.

I blocked them from my social media so they don’t see any more of my articles.

I didn’t do it out of spite, and I’m not angry at them.  Anger is a byproduct of fear, an emotion that I don’t have the time or patience to acknowledge.

I did it for the same reason that I moderate and delete hate comments on the site.  I only accept positive thoughts, actions, and responses… Even from family.

Anyone who isn’t bringing something constructive to the table is just trying to drag me down.  Like crabs in a bucket who try to keep me from escaping, people bringing negativity only want you to fail.  Those are the people you have to mercilessly cut out of your circle.

How Does This Apply to You?

This same lesson applies to everything that you do now and aspire to do in the future.  Everyone around you, even those closest to you, secretly want you to fail.

They will try to bring you down and keep you from succeeding.

They will keep you from raising your station in life because it reminds them that they aren’t doing the same.

This may be in large ways such as criticizing your plans without bringing new ideas to the table or telling you that what you want is impossible.

It may also be in smaller subtle ways, like a side comment here and there to sow doubt in your mind.  This is often the most insidious form of jealous sabotage.

If you’re just learning now learning game and how to talk to women, these people will make sure to rub your nose in every failed approach or every number that leads to a flake.  Even if you manage to get a girl out on a date but don’t seal the deal, they’ll chastise you for that too.

Those people are detrimental to your success – they are parasites sapping your time, attention, energy, and mental fortitude.

The biggest key to success in anything, including women, is persistence.  By simply showing up and doing something over and over, failing multiple times and always trying again, you are ahead of 90% of everyone else in the world.

Then analyzing what works and doesn’t work and retooling to improve yourself puts you in the top 99%.

Those guys who throw negative comments your way are only trying to stop you from achieving your goals and there’s no point in paying any attention to them.

Instead you need to make a decision to succeed, no matter the circumstances and obstacles, and stick with it.  See it through to the end and all you will find is success.

The takeaway point here is that all your decisions are your own.  They don’t belong to anyone else.  If you think I’m wrong, try making a mistake and see who stands up to take the blame with you.  I guaran-damn-tee you that you’ll be left holding the piss pot all on your own.

Your successes are your own.  So are your failures.  The only difference between the two is that one teaches you what works and the other teaches you what doesn’t so you can try something else next time around.

The only person who can cause you to fail is you.

Don’t let that happen.  Make a decision and stick with it.  If anyone tries to stop you or hinder you, drop them like a bad habit and keep right on going.  If you must do it, draw a line in the sand and kick people out of your social circle when they try to hold you back.

At the end of the day, your fate is in your hands.  If you don’t take responsibility for making it the way you want, nobody else will either.  Do whatever it takes to live the life you want, and never back down.

So tell me players – are you determined to succeed?  Leave a comment below and tell me what you will do, no matter the obstacles!