Why Should She Be Interested in You?

We’ve all had the experience of being out and seeing an average looking guy with a great looking girl.  This is even more common in Korea, where it’s generally easier to shoot above your number than in the western world.  She’s falling all over him, they’re laughing and having a good time, and it seems like he’s able to effortlessly keep the conversation going forever.  Guys look on in awe and then try to copy openers, lines and routines from things they read online, confused when it doesn’t work like what they see.

“What’s he saying to her?  How did he make that line work?  Why does she keep laughing at everything he says?  Maybe he knows some good jokes.  I should watch some more standup.  Oh, he just did a card trick and she seems amazed.  I should learn a trick from YouTube.  I wonder if he ever watches YouTube.  It’s so unfair, some people just have it and some people don’t.  I guess I’ll go home and jerk off again.”

When a guy with little or no game sees a situation like this, it’s easy to feel discouraged or like it’s just the luck of the genetic lottery.  That’s the easiest way to go through life without getting laid.  Instead of feeling unlucky or putting the blame somewhere else, ask yourself a simple question.

Why should she be interested in me?

What do you bring to the table that would make her interested in hearing more from you?  What’s the most interesting thing you’ve done this week?  This month?  This year?  Are you living an interesting life?  If not, then why not?

A lot of foreign guys living in Korea like to fall back on something rather boring – “I’m living in another country where I don’t speak the language.  It’s really exciting and interesting, and it’s the biggest adventure of my life!”

So is everyone else here.  Big deal, so what, what’s your next big adventure?  What are you doing that sets you apart from all the other horny white guys at the bar?

If you want to be interesting, lead an interesting life.  And no, going to a beach party in another city isn’t interesting… Unless you can spin it as an interesting story.  The same can be said for any other experience you’ve had.  For example, through a particular set of circumstances, I found myself jobless, penniless and nearly homeless for about 7 months here in Korea.  By itself, that’s a strange and somewhat sad story.  However, when I tell the story it’s about the adventures I had and the creative ways I found of making money during that time.  There’s a video of the Korean police trying to shut me down and a mob of people stopped them and sent them packing because they liked what I was doing, so sometimes I’ll tell the story to a girl and let her watch the video.  I could tell this story and sound like I’m complaining about my situation, but what good does that do?  It’s much better to tell it like a big joke and keep her laughing at me and my antics.

The point is not the story itself, but instead the way it’s told.  It’s interesting because it’s different.  It’s interesting because she’s never heard anyone tell a story like that before.  It’s interesting because she feels like she’s part of the adventure with me while I tell it, and she wants to be there for the next one too.

The best way to have experiences like this is to live an adventurous life and collect your own stories.  Learn to be a good story teller.  Never give her simple facts, take her on the journey with you and keep your stories fun and light.  If you don’t have any stories yet that you can spin as amazing and fantastic, then learn to tell the crappy stories well while you plan out new ways to start collecting your own truly great stories.

Whatever you do though, don’t blame her for not being interested.  You need to be more interesting.