Learn From Your Friends’ Mistakes

Hey players!  Another guest post from my good friend Julius to give you a different perspective.  Follow his advice here and always learn from your friends’ mistakes! -Jack

Having been in Korea a few years, I’ve made a few mistakes of my own by also have seen others do much worse. Ironically, I learned the most through others’ mistakes.

I had a friend in Korea that lived two hours away from Seoul by train in the countryside. Mildly attractive and with a decent enough personality, I thought that he would be a hit with women, foreign and domestic. He would consistently ask our large group of friends and me for advice on meeting women and what to do. He struck out so often with women that it became an ongoing joke. How did someone like him, by no means a socially awkward weirdo, manage to find misery in a country where so many find success? Here’s what he did and what you should avoid.

• Tinder is an excellent app that helps connect people all around the country. It’s something of a shooting gallery for prospective singles, more so if you’re attractive. My friend, “Christian”, would match with a large amount of girls that would make the most confident guys jealous. Christian would talk to the girls for a week. He’d get their number and make plans. Things would go well for him. Then, as is common in online dating, no response. A week would go by and he would not get a single text. A second week went by, and he still heard nothing. Any person with a semblance of common sense would be able to figure out that she’s just not interested. He would persist. He would still go to the place where they were to meet in the hopes that she would show up, even after weeks of not speaking. He would rent a hotel room nearby in case he got lucky. He would blow off his group of friends out in Seoul having a blast for the off chance of meeting his tinder match. While this is an extreme example, just know when she’s not that in to you. There’s nothing wrong with that. Just put more effort in your other matches.
• Getting somewhere with a girl might not guarantee the next step you desire. My friend Christian would get a girl’s number drunkenly after a chance make out session at 3 in the morning. We all thought, “Cool! Maybe something will happen.” He would try his hardest to meet her the following day or weekend. Of course, the girl would completely blow him off with an excuse like “I’m still tired from last night” or “I’m staying home tonight.” To make matters worse, Christian would run into his prospect at a bar catching her in a lie. Being a sensitive man, this would devastate him and ruin his night. All for a girl he barely knew. To prevent this from happening to you, know that if you manage to succeed on a level with a woman, remember that she may not be interested in taking it to the next level, whether that could be sex or a simple date. Know when to cut your losses. Your time in Korea is limited and precious.
• Getting a girl’s number might not be the seal of guaranteed success that most men assume it is. Using Christian as an example again, he once met a woman in a Paris Baguette near his home. She struck up conversation in near perfect English, was really interested in being his friend, and thought going out for coffee sometime would be nice. Surprisingly, they became Facebook friends right away. To make it even sweeter, she was a beautiful woman. However, he did notice online that she was married. He noticed that she would post a few statuses about her husband. Finally, he noticed that she was no longer responding to his texts. Any person would know that she was just looking for a friend to practice her English with and not an affair. Even still, he persisted, and pathetically, would repeat the “story” of how they met to ask us what we thought and if he still had a chance.

The point of these cringeworthy stories is to remind you that some of the most valuable lessons come from the mistakes your closest friends make. Don’t wait to make them yourself. Remember, not every woman is interested in you. Not every woman was put on this planet to do you. Some women just want to be friends. The sooner you know that, the less likely you are to repeat these embarrassing stories and to put your effort where it really matters. Don’t be a fool and repeat their mistakes.