Your Happiness is Your Responsibility

When it comes to meeting girls and picking them up, one of the biggest mistakes that most guys make is that they focus solely on one girl.  This is true all over the world, but Korean girls are especially notorious for flaking and not responding to messages.  Simply put, you could sleep with a girl one weekend, then the following Monday, she won’t even answer your messages.

In East Asia, the concept of ‘saving face’ is very important to the culture.  This basically translates to them not wanting to do anything to cause direct embarrassment to you or to them.  In the case of game, hooking up, and relationships, this means that outright rejecting you or saying that they aren’t interested any more is avoided if at all possible.  She might even be embarrassed that she slept with a foreigner in the first place, because if other people find out, she will definitely get a reputation among her friends and any boys she knows.  Girls who hook up with foreigners are looked upon as ‘easy girls’.

Now imagine for a moment that you find a great girl.  You meet her somewhere, talk for a while, and have a strong connection.  You push the interaction as far as it will go, let’s say you get a kiss or make out, but she won’t go home with you, so you get the number instead.  You message her later on, suggesting you get drinks together and she says yes.  You block off your Friday night, go over to the place you’re supposed to meet and she… never shows.  No call, no message.  You wait around about 15 minutes and message her asking where she is.  No response.  You just got played for a fool, and now because you were only focused on that one girl, you don’t even have a Plan B.  You’re crushed, alone, and probably not even in the mood to try to meet new women.  Your Friday night is now effectively ruined.

At this point, it’s easy to say that it’s her fault, that she screwed you over and what a bitch or whatever.  But here’s the key point: Your happiness is not her responsibility.

Her Friday night isn’t ruined.  Why is yours?  What’s the difference?  Simple.  You put all your eggs in one basket, you counted on her to bring you happiness.  It’s important to remember, you can’t count on anyone all the time.  At the end of the day, you are alone in this world and in this game, so it’s your responsibility to make yourself happy.  Don’t count on anyone else to make your night what you want it to be.  Always be prepared to walk away, never rely on just one thing or person to make you happy.  This is even truer when you’re living alone in a foreign country, because you don’t have a safety net of family and friends to count on.  Take responsibility for your own happiness and make it happen.

Because of their propensity for flaking or even disappearing entirely, it’s a fool’s errand to put all the hopes and desires of your sex life on one girl.  Even girlfriends have been known to simply disappear entirely, so that’s not a safe bet either.  The only way for a guy to get laid with any level of consistency these days is to play the numbers game.

Do approaches. Get kisses. Get bangs. Get numbers. Keep as many girls on the go as possible, whether in person or through messages.  This way, if one of them slips away or disappears, you won’t care or even notice.