What’s up, players?
Recently, I’ve been spending a lot more time coaching guys in person. Several of them are already experienced in game and looking for an edge in dealing with the animal that is the K-Girl, but some of them were young bucks who had very little experience with game and girls in general.
Working with new guys is always a great experience for me because it helps me get back to the very roots of game. A lot of the time, we focus too much on the intricacies and higher-level concepts and we forget the most important basic aspects. Instead of talking about advanced game theory and female psychology, sometimes it’s far more helpful to take a step back and make sure you’ve got your foundation built before you start designing a mansion above it.
Here are 6 crucial points that I re-learned and reinforced while working with aspiring players.
1. Leading the Interaction is Key
As soon as I sit down with a guy who’s new to the game, the first question is always the same:
“What should I say to a girl to make her like me?”
The short answer to this question is, “Whatever the hell you want,”… but that doesn’t feel like much of an explanation, now does it?
Instead of trying to explain how to open an interaction with ridiculous jargon or giving stupid canned pickup lines, I found that it’s been far more effective to demonstrate. I offered one student to give me anything to say and I would successfully open a girl with it. He suggested that I open a girl by telling her she had big hands.
I opened her by telling her that my friend and I had a bet about who had bigger hands, made a slight tease of her big hands, and seconds later I was laughing with the girl while holding her hand. About 2 minutes later I had her number in my phone and got a kiss on the cheek before leaving her to giggle about it with her friend. The point of the demonstration wasn’t to show my particular pickup prowess, but instead to prove that what you say doesn’t matter at all! If you say something with confidence and follow through with it, you can quickly build comfort and attraction, as I showed previously. Unless a girl is absolutely uninterested in you, she will follow your lead and let you see the interaction through to the end, which should end with at least a number exchange.
This is the most difficult skill for new players to develop but it’s also the most important. Owning the interaction and leading it from start to finish is the key to getting what you want out of it. One of the reasons it’s so difficult is because it’s easy to understand mentally, but much more difficult to understand and accept emotionally.
If you doubt the importance of this point or are having a hard time accepting it, look at it from the other side for a moment.
[Read more…] about 6 Crucial Things I Learned (Again) from Coaching Newbies